


I'm Going Once, Going Twice (I'm Sold)

by awesomecookies



Series: A Gang Leader as a Professor? It's More Likely than You Think [4]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Professors, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash is a drama queen, Ash needs to chill, Attempt at Humor, Auctions, Crack, Everyone is tired, Fluff, Humor, It still had plot, M/M, POV Outsider, Photographer Okumura Eiji, Technically it's part of the series, bidding, self indulgent, somewhat but not really, valentines fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:08:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22715080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecookies/pseuds/awesomecookies
Summary: "What is happening?!" Ash barked from the phone just as she picked it up."Alicia Lindsey.” Angie spluttered. “She bided three thousand dollars for him. Nobody is bidding anymore. She flirted with him a lot during the shoot. They all know she likes him.""Go higher!"Angie squawked. That’s absurd. That’s insane. "I can't! She'll ruin me. Everybody is scared of her. She's gonna eat me alive."Do it! Don’t let that seducing bitch win!"Angie gnawed at her nails, looking between the stage, Mr. Okumura, Alicia and the phone."Going once? Going twice?" The host offered, provoked.Ah fuck it."Five thousand!"-Charity Auctions were terrible weren't they? Especially when your Japanese boyfriend was so cute and was on the auction block.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Series: A Gang Leader as a Professor? It's More Likely than You Think [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612297
Comments: 53
Kudos: 585
Collections: Finished111





	I'm Going Once, Going Twice (I'm Sold)

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY VALENTINES BITCHES! HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW FANART?!
> 
> Okay lmao to those who read that Hanahaki AU I posted yesterday...take this crackfic I made. Lmao  
> Also as I said in the previous fic, Ash is still rich. All that stolen money? Invested in stocks baby. Of course, it's all under Eiji's name. (kinda for protection, but also because Ash wanted to make sure Eiji has all the power in the relationship should he want it. Damn)
> 
> anyway...enjoy this crackfic with plot

Mr. Eiji Okumura was this new cute free-lance photographer they hired for this project of theirs. And everybody absolutely loved him. He was soft spoken, kind, a gentleman, and absolutely adorable.

He looked pretty young too, despite being just as old as them. (This was a sore topic for him apparently. That and his height. Never mention those two to him.)

Anyway he was such a sweetheart, absolutely polite, and concerned about his client's wellbeing. And she meant everyone in his client's payroll as well. (This man really just chats up anybody sits beside with, asking about their day. And he seemed very interested about it as well. Seriously everybody loved him. Especially since he was patient with the models he was working with and he complimented their beauties in the most appreciative way without being lecherous about it. All their models wanted him to be their photographer instead.)

Even her boss, madame Vivianne, AKA the pickiest woman in the world, was actually satisfied with the service and the product. She also actually liked Mr. Okumura. Which was a feat. Madame Vivianne didn't like anyone. 

It could also be because of Mr. Okumura's rising fame in the field of photography after the success of his first exhibit about the New York cityscapes. But Angie would like to think it was because of his pleasant demeanor rather than his fame. Anyway, the point was, her boss really liked him.

So really, Angie shouldn't be surprised to learn that Mr. Okumura was invited to their annual Valentine's charity gala, held at every 13th of February. ("I'm not an animal Ms. Santiago. People do have plans on the fourteenth and I'm not meddling with that.")

Anyway. The thirteenth was already this Friday and due to the plus one, Angie had to make accomodations and adjustments in such a short amount of time. She really did wish madame Vivianne was more considerate about these details.

But, Angie was a professional and through blood, sweat, tears and gritted teeth, plus a couple of berating via passive aggressive emails, she finally got it done.

And so after enough wheedling (because funnily Mr. Okumura didn't want to attend at first, but after telling him what hoops Angie went through for it, he finally agreed, albeit mostly from guilt. Was Angie an asshole for exploiting the man's weakness? Maybe. But her boss will chop her up if he doesn't show. Sometimes Angie wondered what madam Vivianne had been thinking) here he comes, wearing a tux and had his hair slicked back. It was a good look on him. He looked less younger as well. 

"Mr. Okumura, I'm glad you can make it!" Angie exclaimed, and partly relieved. 

Mr. Okumura smiled that kind smile of his. It was pretty charming actually. "Miss Santiago," He bowed politely, a custom in Japan that he couldn't help but do. "I could see your work paid off. Good job."

"Thank you. I tried my best." She giggled, suddenly giddy from the compliment. This was what she meant about him being able to lift people's spirits with a handful of sincere words.

"Eiji!" 

Ah. Right. That would be her boss.

True enough, a woman clad in a long purple evening gown, grey hair plaited into a bun came bursting in the room. This elderly woman with diamonds hanging on her ears and neck had more youthful energy than all millennials combined. How unfair.

"Madame Vivianne. Good evening." Eiji bowed at her this time. She went ahead and kissed him on both cheeks instead as a greeting. One should be used to it by now, but Mr. Okumura still looked flustered about it.

"No plus one?" Madame Vivianne craned her neck, as if looking for someone behind them.

Mr. Okumura chuckled. "No plus one. They're busy." 

"That's a shame. I wanted to meet one of your friends." Madame Vivianne pouted. Mr. Okumura simply smiled. “Well. I better lead you to our table.” She slipped her arm under Mr. Okumura’s and started to leave.

Angie had other things to do anyway. There was no rest for her. The flow of activities, the food, the music, she was in charge of everything. Time passed in a blur and finally dinner was over and the main even was starting. The charity auction.

Every year, the New York Sense magazine holds a charity Valentine’s auction, where people bid for bachelors and bachelorettes who volunteered to date those who win the bids. It's a funny way to raise money. But it works. So maybe it's alright.

She sighed. At least this wasn’t on her department. Her heels were killing her. She could finally rest in this quaint corner backstage, finally.

Or so she thought.

A distressed Mr. Okumura was pale in the face and sweating hard, pacing back and forth the backstage.

“Mr. Okumura, are you okay?” Angie couldn’t leave this poor man by himself. Especially when he look like a hairsbreadth away from panicking.

“Madame Vivianne signed me up for the auction and only told me now.” Mr. Okumura ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t get up there!”

Angie winced internally. See, this is what she meant about her boss needing to calm the fuck down. She could be really insensitive when she wants to. God.

“Well, Mr. Okumura, if you’re worried nobody will bid for you, I’m sure there were some women charmed by you while working with you. And you look pretty good. That’s not a problem.” Angie tried to appease him. There were a lot of people who liked him. She’s sure there were some who wanted to ask him out but just didn’t find the courage to. This was a good time for them to. Seriously, Angie was sure there’s more than half of people from the magazine crew who low key had a crush on the man.

“I’m not worried about that! I’m worried if I do get auctioned and someone bids for me!” Mr. Okumura wailed. "Oh no. Oh no no no no. I can't do this."

"But your name is already on the list." Angie bit her lip. That’s a bad habit she had to fix.

"Can’t you take it off?!"

"I can't just do that. They already have it."

Mr. Okumura’s face crumpled in despair. He looked at Angie with a desperate face. She was really guilty she couldn’t do anything for him. Just then, a voice called from the stage. That was the emcee.

"Eiji Okumura!"

Mr. Okumura hissed a curse under his breath. He tossed Angie his phone with all seriousness and anxiety. "The passcode is 0 8 1 2 0 1. Dial the contact under the name Ash and explain everything to him! Hurry!"

Mr. Okumura managed to hiss before the host pulled him off towards the stage. Angie tried to do exactly what she was told. So with trembling fingers she went ahead and opened the phone with the passcode she was given and proceeded to dial the name Mr. Okumura mentioned. Thankfully it was the first in his contacts.

A ring. And then another. The other side picked up on the fourth ring.

"Honey?"

Angie took a mental step back.

_Honey?_

"Having fun with your party? I didn't expect you to call so soon." The man on the other side had this smooth voice that had just the right amount of teasing in the lilt of his tone.

"Umm...hello?" She started tentatively. She hated having to burst his bubble and break in the bad news. "Is this...Ash?" She was a little nervous. She could feel the sudden change in the other person’s demeanor.

"Who are you and what have you done with Eiji?" There was an immediate shift in his tone. This time it was very threatening despite it only growled through the phone.

"I'm Angelica Santiago. I work in New York Sense Magazine? Uhh the one Mr. Okumura worked for recently? He asked me to call you." She bit her lip. Pull yourself together Angie. You've had to deal with stubborn other clients, assholes and men in your whole life. This was nothing!

"Right. And he asked you because?" There was still a threatening snarl in his voice as he asked. Angie breathed to calm down. He sounded so intense.

"He kind of needs your help? He's about to be auctioned." 

"He's what?!" The man yelled. "Where the fuck are you right now?!"

Angie winced at the volume. Okay maybe that wasn't the right way to say it.

"It's the annual Valentine's ball. New York Sense has a charity auction where they let the guests bid for a date on selected men and women. It's not actual human trafficking. Please calm down!" Angie said that as fast as she could before the man marched here with murder.

There was silence on the other line. Just the steady sound of breathing. "Okay," he finally replied again. "Okay. Tell me where you are right now. I'm going there." 

"Umm... we're in the Rubin Museum of Art."

The man--Ash--sounded like he was starting to break into a run. "Tell me how that auction works."

"Whoever gets the highest bid gets a date with them for tomorrow at Valentine's. And owes them well...er..a kiss." Angie actually covered her face with her hand. That kinda did sound…well…stupid. “It’s a charity event for the endangered animals.”

“Of course it is. Eiji is weak to that.” Ash sounded exasperated. He sighed. "Okay. Okay. We have plans tomorrow. Eiji probably just wanted to get out of that mess. How many potential people do you think are going to bid for him?"

"Not much." At least Angie hoped. "But people like Mr. Okumura. He's really sweet. So I'm not really sure." 

"Of course they would. Damn his charming personality." Ash groaned. "I'm going to a cab now. Do not hang up on me and tell me everything that's happening."

Angie glanced at the stage where the other bachelors and bachelorette’s are lining up. Good for Ash, the women were going first. "He's actually the last one. So you still have some time. Please tell me you're wearing a dinner jacket at least?"

There was franticness in the man’s tone that Angie caught as well. "Slacks and a blazer. Good thing Eiji left his plus one invite home."

Angie breathed. "Good good. Okay."

The auction continued. They were actually raising quite a lot today. That's...wow. A lot.

The next few minutes was spent in anxiety and nail biting. Another bad habit to break.

"And now, would Mr. Okumura come to the stage?"

Fuck.

Mr. Okumura looked absolutely nervous. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights as he stepped forward to the spotlight.

"Ah yes. Mr. Eiji Okumura. You might've known him from the success of his exhibit about the New York cityscapes he's done a year ago. Who knew this budding name in the work of photography would be so cute in person?" The host giggled.

"Is that supposed to be Eiji?!" Ash yelled from the phone.

Ah crap. "Yeah he's on." This man should really stop yelling at the phone.

"Shit. Wait I'm caught in traffic but I'm already nearby. Do not let them win."

Angie groaned. This was not good for her blood pressure. "How am I supposed to do that?!" 

No. Relax. She’s gone through worse. There was nothing that could top the fashion disaster of 2019. That was the only time she was allowed to eat ice cream, cry and drink vodka for three days straight She wouldn’t survive a high fashion magazine without having being tough.

"Bid for him. I don't care how high. I'm paying for it." Ash snapped.

Yes. She had nerves of steel. She could do anything. She could bid for some cute Japanese photographer with someone else’s money without fear. "What the hell, okay."

The host started the auction. "Let's start with a hundred dollars?" He gestured at the audience, inviting them to bid.

"I'll have a hundred and fifty for the cute Japanese photographer." Some woman giggled from her table at the front. Mr. Okumura turned beet red.

"Two hundred here!" A new one, a blonde one from the back raised her hand. Katie from graphics design? Damn. She was a really sweet woman, she looked nothing like that right now. The graphics design team cheered. Ah. They must've chipped in. 

"Five hundred!" A new bidder joined. 

"One thousand!" Wait was that madame Vivianne?!

It was! She was adding fuel to the flames. What the hell. She looked smug about it too.

"Ash, there are a hell lot bidding for him. I think he really charmed a lot of women on his short stay here." Angie muttered to Ash as the hall started to break loose.

"Of course he did. He just does that all the time." Ash grumbled. As if he knew very well how Mr. Okumura was.

"One thousand five hundred dollars!" 

Oh Lord. 

"Two thousand dollars!" 

"Wow! Who knew Mr. Okumura was such a popular man?!" The host grinned, absolutely enjoying the chaos. "Can we go higher than that?"

"Twenty-five hundred!"

A viscous bid war had begun. Holy shit. Mr. Okumura covered his face, not even able to look at the scene. Poor guy. He looked really uncomfortable.

"Where are you?" Angie asked hysterically.

"Got some place to go first. This is really important. Stall them." Ash yelled before hanging up on her.

“Hello? Hello?!”

Well that didn’t help at all. The bidding continued to climb.

"Three thousand dollars!" 

Oh Lord. 

That was one of their popular models. Alicia Lindsey and as far as Angie knew, she was really really charmed by Mr. Okumura in their shoot. She was absolutely flirting with him the entire time they worked together. Either Mr. Okumura was that oblivious to her advances or was absolutely uninterested. Oh boy.

"Three thousand dollars! Wow does anybody wish to go higher than that?" The host boomed. The crowd started to murmur.

Nobody bided anymore. Nobody ever wanted to go against the diva that is Alicia Lindsey. (Everybody hated her guts by the way. She was too dramatic, too arrogant and snobby. However, she was damn good at her job. Hell. That’s why nobody could say anything.)

Angie nearly threw the phone when it started to ring again. She answered it immediately, almost hanging up in anxiety.

"What is happening?!" Ash barked from the phone just as she picked it up.

"Alicia Lindsey.” Angie spluttered. “She bided three thousand dollars for him. Nobody is bidding anymore. She flirted with him a lot during the shoot. They all know she likes him."

"Go higher!"

Angie squawked. That’s absurd. That’s insane. "I can't! She'll ruin me. Everybody is scared of her. She's gonna eat me alive.

"Do it! Don’t let that seducing bitch win!"

Angie gnawed at her nails, looking between the stage, Mr. Okumura, Alicia and the phone.

"Going once? Going twice?" The host offered, provoked.

Ah fuck it.

"Five thousand!"

Angie couldn't help clamping a hand on her mouth while Alicia glared daggers at her. Fuck. Those clear blue eyes narrowed at her. Angie could suddenly envision those long red acrylic nails digging on the flesh of her neck. Fuck.

"Five thousand five hundred!" She added.

Ah whatever. She’s dug her grave anyway, six feet under. Why not make it deeper? "Five thousand six!"

"Six!"

"Six thousand five!" Angie had never bided this high. Holy shit. He hoped Ash had enough money for all this. Fuck. Imagine if she had to pay for all of this. Actually fuck. If she was scammed into this, she was going to kill that man.

From across the room, Angie noticed Alicia dialing her phone and calling to someone, probably her banker.

"Six thousand five. We have a six thousand five. Is that the highest? Can we get a seven thousand? Seven thousand? Going once? Going twice?" The host goaded some more. Angie wanted to choke him for making it more stressful than it already was.

"Seven thousand!" Alicia nearly shrieked. She stood up and glared at Angie. "I'll top whatever you give me bitch."

Everyone gasped and 'oohed'

Angie swallowed hard.

"Fifteen thousand dollars!" 

Someone boomed. The sound of a door slamming wide open echoed across the function hall. Everyone turned to where the new bidder had come from. There was this beautiful blond man, sweating, panting, cheeks flushed and absolutely mad.

"Fifteen thousand dollars. Right here. Right now. In cold cash." He repeated while stalking towards the stage and dumped the case full of bills.

The shock on everyone's faces were evident. This new comer just came in with cash in the most dramatic way possible.

...was this Ash?! The Ash she was speaking to on the phone?

Holy shit. This man had no chill.

Angie turned to look at the expression on Mr. Okumura’s face. It was an interesting expression written on his face.

Mr. Okumura looked relieved but also embarrassed at the turn of events. He looked at him meaningfully. Something that crossed between berating, gratefulness, and a plain "what the fuck?!" Written all over his face.

Which was such a mood if Angie was being honest.

Back to what was happening in the center, Ash looked Alicia straight in the eye. "Try toping that.... bitch."

Holy shit. This was more dramatic than any opera, tv show, movie, or book she's seen. Fuck. Angie clutched at her fuzzy hair, already a little messed up with this whole fiasco. The look of absolute horror in Alicia's eyes was worth it though. Absolutely beautiful. Show stopping. Breathtaking. She was sure a lot of people thought so too.

Alicia started arguing with her banker.

The hall was silent.

Then after awhile, she sighed. " _Fine_. I withdraw." 

Mr. Okumura sighed in relief. Ash looked absolutely smug. 

The host swooped in the scene. "Okay! This err...lovely gentleman won the well fought for, Eiji Okumura. What a run huh?"

The people in that room clapped.

Angie felt like her legs were going jelly and collapsed at a nearby chair.

* * *

"You know...this was not what I really had in mind but uhh...I suppose it worked too." Mr. Okumura laughed as Ash met him and wrapped his arms around his back possessively. Angie was seriously starting to question the nature of their relationship. "You didn't need to be that dramatic."

“Shuddup. You’re lying if you’re going to say you didn’t like it.” Ash grinned at him.

Mr. Okumura glared at him, which did absolutely nothing to lessen the brightness on Ash’s stare. He sighed.

“Alright. You win. I liked it a bit. Their scandalized faces was pretty funny.”

The grin on Ash’s face grew bigger.

“But don’t do that again.” Mr. Okumura warned.

Ash snorted. “Don’t get auctioned again.”

Mr. Okumura stuck out his tongue. Ah they must be good friends then.

“You.” Ash pointed at Angie. “Angelica right? Santiago.”

“Angie is fine.” She laughed. Honestly, at this point she didn’t even know what to feel. She was giddy and exhausted at the same time. Too much adrenaline rush for a single night.

“Thank you, Angie. I owe you a lot.” Mr. Okumura grasped her hand and shook it.

“It’s nothing.” Angie blushed at the contact.

“Okay alright. That’s enough. Thank you anyway.” Ash pulled Mr. Okumua away. “I believe you owe me a kiss.”

Mr. Okumura turned red. “Seriously?”

They're very close friends then. Do friends allow each other kisses like that? Really close friends?

Ash pouted. “I just paid fifteen thousand dollars for you. Would you rather go and have a date with Alicia bitchy Lindsey tomorrow for Valentines?”

Mr. Okumura raised a brow. “Would you rather I go on a date with super model Alicia “bitchy” Lindsey than get fucked by your cock tomorrow for Valentines?”

Angie choked. Holy shit. Mr. Okumura lost his chill too.

There was no heterosexual meaning for this.

Mr. Okumura seemed to have realized their company and blushed once more. “Right. Forget I said that.”

Ash cackled. “Anyway. We’re leaving early. I’ll see here if big brother here wants to reschedule his plans for tomorrow to tonight instead. Bye!”

And before she knew it, they left. Angie groaned. What an eccentric couple.

“It all went perfectly into plan didn’t it?” A new voice came from behind Angie. It was madame Vivianne.

“All went to plan?”

“Yes. I knew many wanted to get a date with Eiji, but his boyfriend was a little…how do we put this? Protective.” Her boss patted her cheek. “We raised quite a lot from them too, huh? And this was the most excitement we had in years.”

“You know them?”

Her elderly wrinkled face crinkled into a wide smile. “Oh yes. Definitely. I attended Eiji’s exhibit. It’s where we met. I was captivated with that boy’s pictures of the city. It looked so melancholic and sad, yet it was hiding some bits of love in it. It was beautiful. I’ve lived in this city for so long and yet I’ve never seen it under those lenses. He made the mundane into something magical.”

“Oh.” Angie didn’t know what else to say.

“I met him while trying to buy this one piece from that collection. It wasn’t the best one, it wasn’t the center piece but it felt the most…loved. I could feel it was loved. It was titled: Dawn.” Her eyes were soft. “So went to ask for the price and he said it wasn’t for sale. I asked him to name whatever price. And he said he couldn’t part with it, because it was special to him. It was the photo of his friend. It was the photo of him.” She was wistful as she said this.

“Ash?”

“Yes. No matter how they look to you, you actually know they love each other so much.” Madame Vivianne whispered reverently. “I wanted to see him for myself. How someone could possibly love a man so fiercely it bleed to your craft? That photo, that exhibition. It inspired me. I wanted to be able to do that too.”

Angie thought it was too big for her to grasp. In those few minutes she met them, it was impossible to understand it all. But there was so much trust between them, for all that to have worked. Mr. Okumura trusted Ash so much to help him. And Ash trusted that Eiji would wait for him. It was pretty amazing.

Well Angie did not understand.

But she found that she wanted to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> Ash needs to learn how to chill...lmao  
> Also in this universe...Eiji is lowkey a closet pervert that somehow slips out every now and then when provoked. ahahaha


End file.
